I have many faults and these stop me from getting better
I am no spring chicken, but I am not exactly old too. But I have seen my fair share of fixed mindset people, and I have heard a lot of what they say and - horror of horrors! - I have also been "guilty" of saying them myself. But as I try to cling onto my growth mindset, I have come to see some aspects of my life that are pulling me towards the fixed. In this article, I would like to share what have been pulling me towards the fixed mindset as a reminder to stay clear of that.
As my family members can attest, I am a very stubborn person. Some of this derives from a firm set of beliefs, others come from self-assuredness. But whatever the source, my stubbornness forms a barrier to listening to people, and that will stop me from learning, and from getting better. I need to keep stubbornness at bay.
(2) "Know-It-All" mentality
Well, I have been around the block several more times than most, and this gives me the confidence to say that you are wrong! My "know-it-all" mentality shuts people down and forces them to listen to me, rather than the other way that the growth mindset person would do. I won't learn if I know it all, and that is the fixed mindset at work. I need to keep the "know-it-all" mentality at bay.
Going closely with my "know-it-all" mentality is my judgementalness. So not only do I not listen to people, I will also judge them and place them into mental boxes and labelling them - many times unkindly - and certainly unwarrantedly. This puts a barrier between me and the person and I will ignore to what is being said. That is very much a fixed mindset quality. I need to keep judgementalness at bay.
Hey, I am smart! I attended university under a government scholarship. I got my MBA years ago. I interact very well with professors, teaching them a thing or two (though not necessarily the other way around), and using them as badges of my abilities and connectedness. I have read many, many books and understood them all. Darn, I'm smart, and I know it! I am infallible! If I know it all already, there is nothing more to learn. I have become fixed. So I need to keep infallibility at bay.
Admirers go around and say things that I want to hear. They reinforce the ideas that I have about myself and never give me disconfirming information. They feed off my knowledge, my repertoire, my energies, and return them back to me, reinforcing my genius. Admirers are groomed, they are sought out to make me look good, to say that I am already made. And that stops me from getting better. I need to keep admirers at bay.
I love hearing the sound of my voice, my image in the mirror, my achievements in my career, the knowledge in my head. I am a success and I will never stoop so low as to mingle with the commoners! I don't need to change because there is nothing else for me to change to! This stops me from acknowledging my failures, from seeing my limitations, from learning new things. This is a very strong fixed mindset trait. I need to keep ego at bay.
Boy, I have many faults, and these stop me from getting better, from developing my growth mindset. I need to keep them all at bay.
Won't you help me?